I guess I should preface this post with the history of the situation. We are realitively new to preschool. We began in September, and at the end of September it was "red day". I was so proud to be there on time, with Quint dressed in red (just a few days after Rhett was born). Until.....
We walked into the classroom and they all lined up in the front of the class. I did not know what was happening but then all the other mommies whipped out their caemeras and began taking pictures. Where were they hiding those, I hadn't even noticed them earlier! My stomach just sank as I watched them record this precious moment. I tried very hard to focus on Quint and take in the moment of my little man singing his first song in front of people. I was bummed, but I vowed to do better. I would not be caught camera-less or what ever was required of a preschool momma.
Fast forward one month to Orange day.
We had successfully done the buddy bear project, sharing day, and our day for snack between Red day and Orange day. But, none of that mattered now.
It was orange day, and again, I was standing there without my camera. Seriously! How did I let this happen again!
Rewind 15 minutes.
I had loaded the car. Quint was in his orange shirt, and I had my camera in my bag. We drove to preschool and as I hustled to get all three boys in the building I paused and looked at my bag. I thought to myself, I don't need my bag we will only be a few minutes...EXCEPT the camera was in the bag. By the time I rolled the stroller in the room and realized they were going to sing again, it was too late to run to the car. It was a feeling of dropping the ball in slow motion. I couldn't believe I had done it again. To top it off Rhett started to cry as they were singing, and I could tell some of the mommies were annoyed that my crying son would be on their video.
I was sad for a bit but realized that it was a little thing in a very big picture...that was until dinner.
Quint was telling us about his day and he said to Daddy
"we sang a song today, and all the mommies were taking pictures and mommy didn't have her camera"
At that moment my heart sank. But, what could I do? I had forgetton the camera again. I had let him down.
I apologized, I told him I would get a picture from another preschool mommy, and I would do my best to have my camera next time.
I know in my mind it is not a big thing in the big picture, but it was big to Quint, which means I let him down. And, that kills me. I know it will happen. I am human and fail everyday. But, its not ok with me, so tomorrow and everyday after that I will work to get better at this momma thing.
Hopefully someday when it is a big thing in the big picture, I won't fail him.
