The last time

Today I nursed Rhett for the last time.  I was sad, and I can't explain it.  I am ready to have my body back, but he is my baby and I am having a hard time letting go of it.  Quint  and Russell weaned themselves by this age, but I think Rhett would nurse forever.  I have to take medicine and I don't want to pump through it again, so I have decided it was time.  I did try to take it in, freeze the memory.  Snuggling, the closeness, sharing in the miracle of my body feeding him for the last time.   I don't know how many more babies I can carry, and raise well. 

I guess I always thought there would be more,

but I am feeling fully blessed, 

very challenged, 

so as we pause to determine what God intends with our family planning, 

I take in my mother moments.   

I enjoy Quint as I look at him and begin to see a boy,  stand in awe as I see Russell grow into a preschooler, and I let go of my baby so he may grow into a toddler. 

They say it goes fast....they didn't lie.