The casualty

Today we woke up at 2:30 AM. Packed the rest of Uncle Bob's minivan (which he generously loan us so we could all get to the airport), and Dad drove our whole crew plus Aunt Rebecca to Buffalo Airport. Surprisingly crowded for 4:45 in the morning, we used the last of our active duty status (it ends in a few days) to get our bags home for free. A relatively smooth journey and a few short hours later, we were loading Lexi with our luggage and drive the rest of the way from our home airport.
Ahhh. Home.
It's was bedtime before we realize Russell's blanket was missing!
CRISIS! (I felt like the mom on Home Alone when she realized she forgot Kevin).
We determined it was left at the airport. We went in to break the news to Russell, I knew it would be bad but he cried like someone died.

Can we run?

Today is New Years Day so big boys went to big church (no Sunday school). Quint leans over about five mins into the sermon and says "can I go run around the room?"
I looked around the large auditorium full of quiet adults, and imagined Quint running full speed around....bad plan! Then i flashed back to a much younger me running around the church(when it was empty) while my parents were busy, and suddenly I totally understood where he was coming from. After a long pause,I shook my head no, but with a lot of sympathy. It was a fantastic question. Sometimes I wonder if adults would be better off if we ignored social rules occasionally. Just maybe not at church:)

Around our house....

Like I mentioned, Quint is throwing up......

Yet....he keeps asking for food.....

Q:   "how about a bagel, I will just eat it bit by bit"

Momma:  "how about a half a piece of bread"

Q:  "ok, thats good Mommy, I will just eat it bit by bit"

Russell is jumping on my bed and proceeds to jump into a very thin blanket on the floor, he lands with a thud....

Momma:  "Russell I love you but that is a meathead idea"

Russell:  "Yep"  he replies confidently....

(and continues to jump multiple times....ahhh....Russell)

Russell was bummed about missing swimming, but you could not get me to risk another car ride today.

I told him we would go as a family when Q was healthy.  

Russell is so low-key, just rolled with it and played at home today.

Rhett has learned to say "hi" and he says it all the time.

Multiple times today, Rhett holds his toy to his ear (insert: car, block, little person, etc)

and says "hi" multiple times and looks perplexed that no one responds.....

I try to respond, and when I do....

HUGE SMILE.

Sometimes two cars would be nice:)

I should just preface this with Quint threw up yesterday before school.

He has been down ever since.

Rhett was up last night for an hour with a fever

I did night shift so my jazzy hubby did first shift (I heart him)

When I got up, Q was downing a bagel with jelly, and I was panicked/relieved....he must be better...right?

Till he threw up.

BK needed a ride to the airport 2 hours round trip.

Not ideal but suck it up we have one car:)

Brought a bucket for Q and a movie (thank God) and crossed our fingers.

On the ride.....

BK and I were able to laugh about how crazy this time is, 

but even though we didn't say it, I think we realize we will miss it.

We also dreamed about getting another car.....

One car can be challenging , but it is really hard to justify two.

So we will stick with Lexi, and caravaning trips to the airport for interview season:)

BK looked so jazzy with his suit carrier bag.....it seems so grown-up.....so not us....

but we have to play the game.

I was so glad to pull in the garage without my car stained with throw up:)

Back home, we hunkered down, it was a sick day.

Rhett stands

for a long time.  

He has done it for a second or two, but now he can do it for a minute or longer.

It won't be long now, 

steps are coming, 

and we are worried he may never walk, just run.

He could probably do it, but he gets so excited to go to something and he just jams into a crawl, 

he is a super fast crawler.

But, today he stood, and actually looked like a person.

I caught a glimpse of what Rhett will look like as a walker.....

I don't think I realized how tall he looks:)

With a cheerful heart

I am always observing Moms, especially in challenging situations.  I want to learn, for both good and poor examples to try to be better.  Anyways, today I watched a Mom tell her 4 year old boy it was time to leave and he was having a lot of fun.  He began to pout about leaving.  He didn't rage or throw a fit, but he was definitely not excited and not rushing to put on his shoes.
She said, "lets go, time to put on your shoes"
He pouted.
She waited a bit, and then said "lets go with a cheerful heart or we won't be able to come back for a while".
He changed his attitude and left with a positive vibe.

I try to enforce obedience, but I never require a cheerful attitude.....
hummmm....
but it would be nice:)

I am investigating a cheerful spirit......
see what I find out, and if it changes my view on Motherhood.

Its a judgement call

Somedays its a judgement call.  Rhett has a hacking cough, and I was somewhere between keeping our committments or going to the doctor.  I decided on heading home to give him a good nap, and see how he goes.  Rhett is amazing, but sometimes I feel bad about how much he cruises around in his car seat or on my hip to get his brothers to school or activities.  Everyone tells me that is the life of #3 and it is why they tend to be easy-going about life, but I still want to cater to my baby.  I am re-evaluating my commitments, to see if we are doing too much, or if I need to have a different plan to make life a bit smoother.  I know these years are short, and I will miss them, and I don't want to feel I rushed around them.
It is always a judgement call, the sickness, the schedule, the commitements.  But, maybe it is impending winter, but I am leaning toward being home more, playing on the floor more, letting my #3 nap in his crib more.  Because soon these years will be gone.

As I write this Rhett lets out a barky cough from his crib while he naps, and as I hear that cough I feel peace about missing my meeting.  There will be another BSF class.  They will study this chapter again (in 7 years) and maybe then all my kids will be healthy and in school:)

Quint shows compassion

Rhett has a terrible cough.  BK was gone last night and I spent part of the night worrying I may have to load all three boys in the car for a trip to the ER for croup.  Thank God, it didn't get that bad.  Just to be safe I thought I should take him in today.  I couldn't get him in while the boys were at school, so after we picked up Q we had to head over to peds.  Quint and Russell were troopers, because they usually exhausted after school.  I wasn't sure how it would go, with the tired crew, but it was fairly smooth.

What surprised me was while Rhett was getting checked by the doctor, Quint knelt next to me where I was holding Rhett, and held his hand.  He comforted Rhett, and told him "don't worry Rhett, it won't hurt" "the doctor will fix you".  

Quint has started to show a caring, and deep compassion for people.  It is intermittent, I can not predict it, and he could be acting crazy just a few moments later...but I think it may be one of his natural gifts, which I never would have guessed.

  It is crazy how much they can amaze you if you just take the time to observe them growing.

The change

Its getting cold here now, and you can feel the change.  Everyone is a little sick, you can go out without a coat and you will not die, but you will regret it.  It is a unique time, winter is not here yet you feel fall has faded.  It is time to know exactly where the hat and gloves are.  Its time to think about boots and winterizing the car.  It was a cold rain as we drove home from swim lessons tonight, and I thought about driving slower.  Just the beginning of worrying about the safety of the road.  As we drove, the weather came on the radio, "possibility of a winter mix tonight" they said.  My chest sank, I had been hanging on to fall, but now it was official. 

The change is here.

Russell preschool time

Russell is incredibly sweet, and I just love walking in to picking up.  He is always sitting in his chair, peering at the door looking for me.  When I walk in he is so joyful, I hustle over to him, and he gives me a giant hug.  It is seriously awesome.  I think it is a stretch for him, to do preschool.  He may not be my baby, but I still desire to baby him. 

A Russell hug after preschool is pure joy.

Quint teaches me about swimming

Our one major activity besides school is swimming.  I am eager for the boys to swim, and to love it.  I know the lader may not occur, but learning to swim is a safety issue...and I can hope...right?

    Admittedly, I love the smell of chlorine so I don't mind going.  

I have been a bit discouraged, because it didn't seem like there was much progress this fall.  

But tonight, Quint swam!   

I mean it was doggy paddle, but he did not sink!   I was over the moon.  I tried not to make too big a deal because Russell is not there yet, but I did praise Quint for his hard work.  

I said "Quint I saw you were swimming today!"  

He responded "yes!"

I said "you did such a great job with your swimming arms"

He said very confidently, 

"mom, you know that is called the front crawl."

I smiled to myself and thought "you don't even know"

but I responded...."oh interesting....your front crawl was so great"

{Grin}

Rhett waves to me at BSF

Today I went to pick up Rhett at BSF and he looked up from his toy and saw me.
He immediately smiled and he waved to me!

He is so cute, and I was so jazzed to see my little man waving to me:)

Quint prays fast

We were sitting down to eat, and it was Quint's favorite special burritos.
We asked the boys who would like to pray, and Quint offered.
He proceeded to pray super fast:)

BK and I looked at each other smiled and decided to let it go.

It was kinda genius.

The job Q desires....

We were cleaning up toys while working my gym shift.  I had loosely assigned jobs to some of the kids, when Quint came over and asked....
"can my job be to make sure everyone is doing their job?"

Such a Q question.  I thought for a minute....eventually that could be your career if you choose, but now he needed to help too.
"I told him he could encourage, and help others with their jobs, but he was NOT in charge" 
I tried not to giggle.

I love his love of order, rules, structure, having a plan, and desire to lead.  Now if I could just channel that to be used for good.....that is the challenge as his Momma.

The last time

Today I nursed Rhett for the last time.  I was sad, and I can't explain it.  I am ready to have my body back, but he is my baby and I am having a hard time letting go of it.  Quint  and Russell weaned themselves by this age, but I think Rhett would nurse forever.  I have to take medicine and I don't want to pump through it again, so I have decided it was time.  I did try to take it in, freeze the memory.  Snuggling, the closeness, sharing in the miracle of my body feeding him for the last time.   I don't know how many more babies I can carry, and raise well. 

I guess I always thought there would be more,

but I am feeling fully blessed, 

very challenged, 

so as we pause to determine what God intends with our family planning, 

I take in my mother moments.   

I enjoy Quint as I look at him and begin to see a boy,  stand in awe as I see Russell grow into a preschooler, and I let go of my baby so he may grow into a toddler. 

They say it goes fast....they didn't lie.

Love from out west.

I had a few moments, and I went on the computer quick to check email.  BK was on chat, so I sent him a quick message.  He wrote back and then said "got an interview invite from Arizona today.  Then he continued to say and a transitional year at Harbor (UCLA).  Now I know it does not mean we are moving there, or even if we want to, but I literally jumped.  I guess I realized in that moment how much I had been suppressing my desire to return west.
I have come to the conclusion that no where really feels like home, except where BK and the boys are, but some places feel more like home than others.

I don't know where we will end up.....but lately it has felt like a long journey.  For the first time we have a desire to feel settled, to have roots.  We have established some here, which makes Iowa more enticing than I ever thought we would feel, but today when BK told me we had a little love from out west...I immediately felt my desire for our old roots.  Maybe it is just my dread of impending winter, but a little sunshine sounds nice too.

Rhettzilla

Rhett may not be walking but he is on the move, and he is very fast!  One of his favorite things is to go seek out his brothers and mob through the center of whatever they are playing.  It tends to not go over very well, especially because in his desire to play he tends to leave a trail of destruction.  We have tried to manage this interaction, by helping the big boys learn to give him a car or toy to try and occupy him, but he still usually goes to knock down their building or smash their perfect rows of cars.  This has earned him the name Rhettzilla:)  It is affectionate, because we all know he just loves them so much he wants to be right with them.  It could be a destructive few months until Rhett learns so social graces about playing......

Peanut Butter and Jelly

Peanut Butter and Jelly is my favorite little boy food.  I was so excited when Rhett was one because the "allergy police" say he can have it.  I knew he would love it.  He did:)  He couldn't get enough.  Yummy, my little baby is finding human food he loves.  Before this it was cheese, apple sauce pouches, toast, and peas.  This is a good improvement:)

6 bobs....

Today I sitting at level 2 swim lessons, watching Q and Russell work on their back floats.  Watching them try to tough out 6 bobs with their face in the water, because their girl teacher told them.  It is so cute, they both do the same thing, they both start bouncing, and after a few bounces, they finally dunk under.  They bounce up, and rub their faces.  Today as I rocked Rhett's stroller on the pool deck, I watched them sitting on the edge of the pool with their lanky bodies trying not to be cold.  Russell did his back float, and climbed out, he looked over at me and smiled.  Then he gave me a goofy face.  What a blessing, to be their momma, and share in their little moments.  At the end they come running over (I know it breaks pool rules so I tell them to walk) but it is so cute.  I wrap them in their towels and we get dry.  It is a great time.  Plus, I secretly love the smell of an indoor pool, warm, humid, chlorine.

It's on the roof

Today we had a hard time getting out the door, but we were finally all in the car. At the bottom of our hill was road construction. I was a bit bummed because we were in a hurry. As we drove slowly by the construction I went to reach for my coffee. When I realized...."oh crapper, I left it on the roof of the car! At the same time a construction worker pointed to my roof. Super. I had to jump out and grab it...while the worker, and the car behind me laughed at me.... Only slightly embarrassing....

Drive safe

Today we were driving in the car and I was multi-tasking. Holding my cell phone, and reaching for something while using my knee to hold the wheel. (not recommended btw) and from the back of the car I hear Quint yell, "mommy, you need to have both hands on the wheel or we are going to crash!". He was truly concerned. I quickly grabbed the wheel and reassured him, but giggled a bit. We always joke he may grow up to be a cop because he loves rules... I think if that's true today I would have gotten a ticket. It was super cute, and seriously I wonder how they. Pick up on these things....

Learning to Walk

When we were driving Rhett home from the hospital Quint asked if he could teach Rhett to walk.  Hard to believe the time is near.  Rhett is such a snuggler, he has not branched out to walking.  I think it may be my fault since I spent most of the past year carrying him around.  He is so snuggly, and it protected him from his rough and tumble big brothers.  I recently realized I need to let go....and made a concious effort to let him roam free.  Now he can stand briefly, table surf, and is starting to show interest in his walker toy.  Today I was helping him with the walker toy and I told Quint, "I think it is time for you to help Rhett to start walking!" 

Q was jazzed:)  

He got down to Rhett level, and tried to show him how to move his feet. 

He said, "ok Rhett, you can talk big steps, or little ones" and started to show him.

It was sweet.

Separation anxiety-worse for them or me?

We have been in school for a week and today I went to drop Quint off and he cried.
He was brave, but he got a bit teary as he sat in his desk.
I froze.
I didn't want to leave,
I just wanted to grab him and take him home.
The bell was about to ring, and I knew I had to get up and go....
I tried not to embarrass him, but I gave him a quick kiss and a small hug and I left.
My inclination was to linger by the door.
But, I knew I had to go....
They would call if they needed me.

I held my phone tight the whole morning, waiting for it to ring, so I could swoop in like super mom to save my baby....
but it didn't ring.

At pick up he was exhausted, but not sad.
They said he perked up and had a great day.

RUSSELL

Tuesday was Quint's crying day, but Russell was fine when I dropped him.
Thursday Quint's drop went much better, but we got to Russell's school and he burst into tears in the classroom.
Where was this coming from I wondered.
I hugged him, didn't want to leave him, almost took him home too, but I know he can do it, and once I left he would love it.
I have read just rip off the bandaid, don't drag it out.
So, I hugged Russell and jumped up and left.
I lingered a bit, (more acceptable at preschool) but again I finally left.

It makes me sad to know I have to let them be independent.
They have to experience the world a little bit without me.
But, my moment was at the end of the week as I was thinking the separation anxiety through......

I realized.....
I am going to have a really hard time cutting the cord.
It is only preschool, I can not even imagine college.
Good thing I get to snuggle them, protect them, teach them, love them, for many years before that day.

"Russell ask me to help"

Today we were driving home in the car and Russell wanted a drink. 
 I quickly chugged most of the water in the Nalgene (just in case he spilled) and tossed it to the back row.


 Russell grabbed it, but could not unscrew the top. 
 I see in my rear view mirror, Quint leaning over and then I hear him say, 
 "ask me Russell, I can open it for you". 


My initial reaction was, "how sweet of Quint to want to help"
 but then my mommy mind goes straight to worst case scenario.... 


As I watched Russell innocently hand over the only water left in the car....
I thought....
 "is Quint going to open it and then hijack the water?"


 I know I shouldn't think that way....
but a lot of my day is spent...
humm how do I say this.... 
managing brother relationships:) 


Well, it was out of my hands, 
I was probably already doing too much while driving on a country road....
I watched (with one eye) in the rear view mirror to see the events unfold
Quint worked hard to open it and....... 
drum roll...... 


HE HANDED IT BACK TO RUSSELL WITHOUT TAKING A SIP! 


To top it off.... 
Russell took a sip and shared the rest with Quint. 
Ahhh. A perfect brother moment. 
To make it even better, Rhett fell asleep in the car ride, so I asked Q and Russell to be secret spies and sneak upstairs 


AND THEY DID IT! 


Rhett transfered to to nap in the crib. 
 If I had to rate solo parent car rides this would be a 99:) 
( You always have to leave room for improvement)

Later that day.... 
there was a choke hold incident, and other altercations...... 
but this moment was perfect.

11 months

My baby is 11 months.
Rhett is amazing and we can't imagine life without him.
He is so snuggly....my little lover.
I would be lying if I didn't say Rhett increased our juggling skills,
but we can't even define how blessed we feel to have him in our family.
He is a perfect blessing.

Just a few bits about him at this age....
Crazy crawler,
Pull up to standing,
Brother chaser(follows them everywhere)
loves to nurse:)
Finger food eater
Not crazy about zippy cups
Indian noise maker (ah ah ah)
Waves goodbye
Says nigh nigh....but ony after we walk away:)
Cutting 1 year molars
Giggler
Loves daddy so much.
Loves to be held,
Loves to pinch under your arm when you hold him.
Our little chunker....size 18 months clothes

He is just perfect.

Rock Catch

This morning I walk out of the bathroom just as something flies past my head and hits the wall with a thud.

I look at Quint who was standing across from me, and ask...

"what are you doing?"

Q responds....

"we are playing rock catch"

As Q says this, Russell runs over to get the rock....which nearly blinded me.

In my mind:

Seriously you could have blinded me!

But,

I respond....

"that is not a game"

"Russell give me the rock"

"Quint, what do we throw?"

Q responds....

"balls"

Sometimes I wonder how they come up with this stuff:)

Russell's first swim lesson

It was Russell's first swim lesson and he was so jazzed.

He loves the water....

I was eager for him to turn three so he could join in the swim lesson fun.

I told Q and R to stick together and for Q to keep an eye on Russ.

As they walked away with their teacher,

Q kept his hand on Russell's shoulder to make sure he went the right way.

Russell probably thought it was annoying, but it was cute.

Russell was all smiles after class:)

Russell's first swim lesson

City Park Pool

7.11.11

Overcoming my fear of hives.....

Debating back and forth about swimming....

decided to do it, because I had to get over my fear of the Quint's hives.

(he had this allergy to cold the past few weeks...but we have done the ice cube test and he seems better)

(Thank God, because it was intense, which is why I was freaked)

I went for it.

Felt like I needed a xanax the whole walk there.....

kept thinking positive self-talk....

"he is going to be fine"

"if not you have the epi-pen....and lots of lifeguards"

"even if the lifeguards are not great we are half a mile from the hospital"

Despite my anxiety about Q I tried to soak up the swim lesson moment.

Because.....

It was

Russell's first swim lesson!

It went great.

and

NO HIVES!!!

Rhett crawls

Its official.

He crawls.

Still a bit wobbily, but his has mastered it.

Now he is everywhere.

Snapshot

Tonight in my snapshot...

Q was pretending to be a pancake making robot....and we didn't eat pancakes:)

Its super cute how he likes to act like a robot lately....

Russell was still h-un-gr-y.....(that is how he says it...all sweet)

So he is up at the table eating shredded wheat...

spilling some, but I can tell he is trying hard not to.....

Rhett is aggressively army crawling all over the room....

looking for anything he can possibly choke on....

Daddy is at his first EM conference....

not too big of a deal since its in Iowa City....

but it is still super exciting...

Momma....very tired, but trying to embrace the moments....

Rhett's teething makes for less sleep:(

We should call the police

Its our anniversary.

7 YEARS!!!

Its Awesome....

But, even on special days, Daddy has to work and we need groceries.

The boys and I packed it up to the grocery store and I thought we would buy something special for dinner.

We went to the store with the driving carts, hoping that would make it a smoother trip.

Unfortunately, they were all taken.

So we roughed it in a normal cart, and I tried to go very fast.

All the sudden we saw this woman pushing a driving cart (if you don't know these are clearly for kids)

and she had no children with her!

She had some of her groceries in the car part.....

I was thinking of many choice words for this woman who I felt had literally stolen some of my sanity,

when Quint noticed the same woman.

He said "mom, she doesnt have any kids with her"

I acknowledged.....I said "that is a bummer, I think those carts are for kids"

He said "we should call the police!"

I whole-heartedly agreed, but tried to down play it to him....

its ok we will find another one.....

but on the inside I was wishing there were grocery police for such an offense:)

We did eventually find a good cart, the boys drove while we found some bacon on sale that we knew Daddy would love....

home for bacon-cheeseburgers and sweet corn.....

A castle

Today we drove by a large construction site.

They had the framing done for a large new building.

We were talking about the construction and we asked the boys what they thought they were building.

Russell confidently said, I think it is going to be a castle.

BK and I thought this was so cute, we just said,

"that would be really cool"

But Quint did not think it was cute....he thought it was wrong.

Quint piped up....

"I don't think it's a castle....I think it's going to be a tall building"

In the end...Q was right, but we give Russell most creative.

Deep down don't we all wish they were building a castle instead of another lame office buildng?

"I had to deal with it."

Quint defends Russell.

This morning we went to the gym early and we were home having a snack when Quint said...

"mommy I have to tell you something"

he made me come close so he could tell me in my ear....

He whispered...

"mommy...at the gym I had to deal with a boy"

I wasn't sure what he meant so I asked him to explain...

He whispered...

"a boy took Russell's toy, and I had to deal with it"

"Oh" I said.

"what did you do?" I whispered back.

"I saw where he put the toy and I got it back for Russell, I had to deal with it."

I was bursting....

Quint was defending Russell.

I asked Russell....

"did someone take your toy at the gym?"

Russell looked sad....

"yes".

I continued...

"did Quint get it back for you?"

"Yes" Russell responded happily.

I said that is awesome. Gave Quint a high five....

we are a family and you are brothers....

You should always defend each other.

It was awesome.

Eavesdropping

Quint was building a train track

Russell came to help.

The long train piece was missing.

Quint said to Russell

"Russell do you know where the long piece is? I saw you with it..."

Before Quint was done asking Russell was running away saying

"I know where it is..."

(his words muffled by his paci)

Then he ran back in the room...

raised the track piece in the air...

and said

"tada!!!!!"

Russell was so proud....like he had just won a battle or invented the cure for cancer....

Quint was more low-key..

"great Russell lets put it here..."

I love eavesdropping on the conversations/interactions....

it is one of the coolest parts of my job.

Published?

A long time ago.......

I did some research......

and wrote a thesis.

In the beginning, I dreamed of it being published.....

but with babies and life I was proud I finished.

It was a enormous amount of work....

which was my fault since I made it up....

but still it was crazy.

Today my advisor contacted me about publishing......

Who knows if it will really happen....

but if it does I would be jazzed.

It kinda made my day to think I might achieve my original goal:)

Get it Russell

There was an ant on the floor.

Russell pointed it out

"look mommy!"

I responded...

"Get it Russell!!"

I thought he would grab a shoe....

which would be my first instinct....

but no....

Russell started smacking the ground,

with his bare hand.

Then Quint started trying to catch it and squish it with his fingers.

I thought....

"gross!"

My next thought....

"but I love that I have boys...

only they make gross things super cute.

This just in....

Russell likes to poop standing up.

Russell is doing well potty training....

so when he ran to the potty while stating

"I have to go poo"

I didn't chase right after him....

He came out a few minutes later asking to have his bottom wiped.

BK went in to help.

I heard from a distance

"Russ did you poo standing up?"

Russell just side

"yep"

Honestly, I don't even know how he did it...

I would think his legs were too short...

but...

three cheers he went in the toilet!!

Maybe I am too low-key but my thought is...

when potty training...

anyway it makes it in the toilet is a win:)

Besides...since Quint started peeing standing up my toilet has never been the same.

The Man Store

Its Memorial Day

BK is off work which is awesome.

He took the boys to the man store for some supplies for our sand box project.

They were so jazzed.

I know my little men love me,

but in some ways I could never compare to Daddy,

and I am totally ok with that:)

I know we have been given the blessed task to raise men,

which means they need to get dirty, go to man stores,

and it is also why I stopped saying things like "outfit, and Quinty"

(BK's tip)

I love that BK seems to love going to the man store with them,

as much as they enjoy going with Daddy.

Its probably crazy but seeing him be such a fantastic Daddy,

reminds me why I love having BK's babies.

But don't worry, no more babies around here at least for a while:)

If life was fair....

When I was younger i had naturally blond hair.
Age, birthing, and living in winter have all made it darker.
Now, I am forced to pay someone to highlight it to keep it a bit blond.

Today it occurred to me, how unfair this is....
I am a naturally ditzy person, which I feel has gotten worse since the babies.
At least when I was younger I had the fantastic natural blond to go with the spacey brain.
But since mommy life I feel like I have gotten a bit less brainy, yet my hair has been darker and darker.

I know life is not fair, but if it was I would not have to pay for blond hair.

A magician

Today my friend told me the cutest thing her daughter said:
She was looking at here swim teachers college grad picture wearing her cap and gown....
The little girl said "when did Ann become a magician?"

Super cute.

The light switch

Today I just glanced over at as Quint and Russell were heading over to the craft cupboard, and noticed something awesome.

Quint was already opening the cupboard and Russell was right behind him.

What amazed me was as Russell was following Quint to the cupboard he paused reached on his tippy toes and turned on the light.

I didnt even know he could reach the light switch.

In that moment I realize wow he really is getting big.

Hard to believe.

It's just a reminder to me to pause,

because everyone tells me you blink and thier in college,....

Or able to reach the light switch:)

Guard at gitmo

Sometimes I am amazed at what comes out of my mouth as a mother.
Today i was loading the boys in the car and they were resisting.
I heard myself say
"no water till you are in your seats!"

Omgosh....seriously, it's very possible that a guard at gitmo said the same thing.....
Wow.

Someday I will post other phrases I have said as a momma.
Many of which I heard my momma say, and swore I would never....
But I have:)

**disclaimer**
I don't regularly refuse water to my children, and they were far from dehydrated.
they just wanted their water cups in the car.

I think I can...

We were at the Lincoln school playground.
I remember a few years ago when I saw the sticker on the playground....
Which says ages 5 and up and thinking wow that is so old.

Today Quint Russell and James were running all over the playground.
They could all do most of the playground activities.
There was one tough twisty ladder.
Russell wanted to attempt it.
I stood close but he did it.
I couldnt believe it.

Q saw this and said he wanted to try.
Q tends be a bit less risky but he was being brave.
He said "I think I can...I think I can...."
He was calculating and cautious...
But he did it!!!

I was so proud of him, but mostly of his can do attitude.

Lellow

Today was yellow day for Q at preschool.
They sang the yellow song.
Q was belting it out and I was so proud.
The cutest part was how he says yellow
"rubber duckies are lellow!"

Some of the preschool mommies were giggling about Q's "lellow"
I think he even got a bit self conscious, and sang quieter for a bit
But quickly resumed belting it out "his" way,
I was so happy he did.
I want my children to embrace their unique traits.

It took me a long time to embrace my uniqueness.
Now I realize it is a gift to be different.
Q won't always say "lellow" but he may have other traits, likes, or values that are different than the crowd
I hope he stands tall then just as he did today.

I hope I can role model
Embracing uniqueness
And
Fervent disregard for approval from "the crowd"

A little lego

Rhett has been sick, so he has been fussy.

He is never fussy so this afternoon when he was fussy I just thought it was because of his sickness.

I tried to nurse and he refused.

Which he never does, so I thought,

"wow he must be feeling really bad".

BK was home...

so he suggested teething and stuck his finger in Rhett's mouth.

And....

pulled out a little lego.

Seriously.

I freaked out.

He could have died.

I often say, my children will be lucky to survive my parenting.

Today it was a miracle.

Worst mom of the year award....

I've officially got it in the bag.

Is that a screw driver?

Maybe it is just me but even finding time to pee is challenging.

So, last night after it was all quiet and I and to pee I took my time.

Normally I am running in and out.

As I peacefully sat down and actually closed the door all the way, I noticed a play screw driver behind the door.

Not sure how it got there,

but it made me think,

someday I will probably be an empty nester, and miss finding random toys behind doors.

Right now, as I pick up my millionth little lego,

I find picking up toys annoying.

But, toys on the floor or hidden around means there are little kiddos playing around.

There is life in my home.

Three little blessings from God

who may drive me crazy somedays,

but I know if my house was perfectly clean with no toys to pick up,

I would feel like it was missing something.

So, next time I pick up a toy or are annoyed with my mess,

I will try to remember,

in some weird way the mess shows we are blessed.

Peek a boo

I am not feeling well, Q and Russ are a bit sick too.

Rhett is still not recovered from his 2 ear infections in a week,

which means him and I are not sleeping well:)

BK is at drill so I am solo momma this weekend.

Its a miracle Q and Russ are napping but Rhett did not get the memo.

I am desperate for a nap,

but its not happening.

Rhett and I were just hanging out,

and I started peek a boo.

He laughed and laughed.

We realized recently he has an awesome laugh,

but today I realized it has youtube potential:)

Rhett's laugh is:

bubbly,

easy,

contagious,

happy,

and

priceless.

It made my day.

The pledge

Today Q stood on the couch and started reciting the pledge.
It was adorable,
Missing a few words
Stumbling over words like indivisible
Hand over his heart

We are a family who values love of country
Even if it is imperfect...
Still the best around in our opinion:)

It was super cute.

Q's preschool teachers son is a Ranger medic.
He just deployed
I am awed by her strength and sarafice.

I can't imagine the worry if any of my sons choose to serve
But I know I would be proud.

Our gratitude to military families is immeasurable.

How do you pick you kids names....

All our children have surnames for first names.
Tonight BK and I were just hanging around playing on the computer when we decided to look up Starretts family crest.
It was awesome.
We decided to look up Russell and Quint's (Baxter).
They all seemed to go together, similar colors and in some way they seemed to fit our kids.
Baxter says "vincit Veritas" Which means truth conquers. Seems to fit Quint and his black and white personality.
Russell had a big red lion on it:).
Both Quint and Russell had a knights helmet, but Rhett had.a top hat....does this mean our bash brothers will go fight the war Rhett will be our pacifist?
He is very low key...
Only time will tell:)
It was a fun thing to look up....

The funny part was then we looked up some of our other fav baby names...
We said maybe if someday we are blessed w another little one...
Maybe we should pick one with a matching crest....
Silly....
How do you pick baby names?

Maybe only in the midwest?

It is finally spring.

Praise God.

Quint was playing outside.

He was busy making some contraption which went around his waist and attached to his wagon.

Russell wandered outside to see what Quint was up to....

I overheard Q say to Russell

"Russell! A tornado is coming!"

"You need a safety harness, or you will get sucked up on the tornado and Mom won't know where you are!"

Quint offered to make him a harness, but Russell didn't seem worried.

I wonder if kids everywhere play tornado?

Maybe only in the midwest?

Or maybe only kids who have mothers who freak out if it is a little windy outside:)

An Augmentin tale....

Like I mentioned Rhett had a raging ear infection....

which put him on Augmentin

which is an awesome antibiotic for ear infections....

but,

also causes super strength diarrhea.....

This morning Rhett was sleeping with us b/c he has been extra fussy (can you blame him...)

and I was awaken by the sound of very explosive diarrhea.

Half asleep I could not decide if I dreamed it or if it had really happened.

Later that evening,

I was about to change Rhett and do the pj thing...

when....

I heard it again....

I was pumped, at least I hadn't changed him yet:)

Then I picked him up off the floor...

and saw a huge puddle of poo on our "rented" carpet!

Pretty sure that stain is not coming out....

Then again this morning we were out

I heard it again....

this time on my pant leg....

Augmentin is awesome for sickness....

not so good for carpets, pants, and baby bottoms:)

The perk....he is getting alot better fast!

YAY!

It is the worst to see my little men sick...

The stroller incident

I try to not answer phone numbers I dont know in an effort to conserve cell minutes, but this morning when an unknown number popped up I go it.

Not sure why....

It was a good thing I did....

It was the pediatritian office.

We were just there yesterday for Rhett and I immediately thought ...

I hope there is nothing wrong with my insurance....

She went on to say "I think you left your stroller here"

I thought to myself she must have the wrong person,

but as she described it I thought...

oh my gosh,,,,

I couldn't have.....

could I?

She said they found it in the parking lot.....

Seriously,

I am a mess.

If there was any question....(which I doubt)

this officially confirms it.

It was a bit embarrassing picking it up......

I am pretty sure I would lose my head if it was not attached.

Even worse...I spent 15 mins looking for my keys before we left for the doc,,,,it was not my day

Not potty trained

Russell and Q had recently gotten out of the bath and I had not gotten to dressing the yet...they were playing legos very quietly in the bedroom so I decided not to bug them right away about getting dressed. A few minutes later I realize I waited too long...

I was taking the free moment to clean up a bit when Russell wondered out of the bedroom, looking adorable and holding something up for me to see,,,,

All the sudden I realized it was a hunk of poo!

My mind raced GROSS! UNSANITARY! AHHHH!

I rushed him to the bathroom and at the same time hollered at Quint, "Quint is there more poo in the bedroom?!?"

He said "no....ummmm....yes...."

I was in the bathroom frantically cleaning up RUssell so hopefully he wouldnt get some nasty disease....I wanted to be mad at him but he was so cute about it....in my mind I was thinking poo is definitely one if the grossest parts of mommy hood.

Russ finally clean I went to the bedroom to get the rest....

Gross.... But I hope I never forget how cute/innocent russ looked as he wondered out holding his poo:)

Wisdom from the cement man....

It was hard to motivate to take the boys out for a bike ride (well mini digger and trike) around the block. But, once we were out it was awesome. Rhett strapped on my back, and we were gone. The awesome moment came when we turned the corner and saw a cement mixer pouring a driveway. The boys were pumped. Q actually got off his digger to run. Then he fell while running, and I could tell he wanted to cry, but forced himself to shake it off....didn't want to miss the cement mixer:) We walked over and asked if we could watch. The boys were facinated. We were so close!

The cement guys were nice and I think they got a kick out of the boys.

One told me "they grow up fast, mine are 13 and 14".

I thought to myself....

Everyone tells me that, and I am sure it is true, so why do I struggle to live in the moment, and just soak up my time with them?

He went on to tell me his oldest is a freshman in high school, and last weekend his boys told him they wanted to sleep in....

Being terribly sleep deprived I thought of how nice that would be....

but I know deep down...

when it gets here I will miss them waking me up too early.

So, this is a reminder to take it in....

because I know, just like the cement man said, and many others like him....

they do grow up fast.

3am

I don't know about you but I love to sleep.

I have never been one of those people who could be perky on little sleep....

I wish I could but even when I was a teenager

I would find there were nights I was just too tired to go get into trouble:)

That is how I know I must "need" sleep:)

I wouldn't have missed trouble for many things...

Recently, two mommy friends told me today they were up till 3 am

the previous night.....

I thought maybe out on a super hot date with their hubbies?....

but deep down I knew what they were up to....

mommy work.

I get it there are very few moments with toddlers when the house is quiet.

Still....

No one with needs to be met....

This part of 3 Am appeals to me....

but, my bed beckons me much earlier than that....

In my mind I wonder though....

what could I accomplish if I could do with out sleep....

My list of to-do's goes on for days...

thank you cards, emails I should send, gifts that need to be mailed,

laundry, deep cleaning, organizing,

errands, couponing, and on and on....

My want-to-do list is long too...

books I long to read, events to blog, photo booking...

But, many nights I say maybe tomorrow....

I delay my list....

for sleep.

When my friends told me this...

I felt guilty,

maybe I should sacrifice sleep to chase my to-do's....

Not sure what the right answer is....

maybe I could pray to need less sleep.....

hummm.....

A strong grip

Rhett is 7 months now. He is super snuggily, but he does have a grip! Lately he has begun to pinch my arm while he nurses. It kinda hurts too, but even though it bugs me a bit, I Know I will miss it. One thing i am sure I will miss is how when I am snuggling him on my shoulder he grabs to my neck. Not just a little bit, but he really grabs on and smuggles in. He is the first one to do that, and I Love it. It is so cuddly and I know it won't last forever....

Not nature lovers

Today Q and Russell were outside with BK when two innocent ducks wondered up. RHett was also outside in the activity center observing. Q and Russ asked to feed them. We got them some bread. I was thinking it's kinda sweet they want to feed the ducks. They began thowng the bread...then as I observed closer I realized they were chucking it at them! Then Q found some bark from the nearby tree and threw it at them....BK reluctantly told them to be nice to the ducks:). Later the chased them away screaming "go away ducks". I guess working for PETA is probably not in their future.....but you never know....

Already Men

Today we broke down the play structure

(which we keep set up indoors in the winter)

We put it away for the summer,

because most of the time we can be outside.

The boys love big construction projects

They were busy moving the pieces around to store them in the pantry.

I heard banging and it sounded concerning.

I asked "do you need any help?"

They both in unison responded

"NO!"

Quint added

"We got it"

More banging....

Finally....

"Mommy we need some help"

(thats what I thought)

Disclaimer* Not all men don't like to ask for help....just many of the ones I know:)

Trying draw my focus back to the moments.

I love when I am blogging.

It helps me focus on the moments...

awesome.....

crazy....

I know I will want to remember them....

I am trying to get back...

Just Dance

My Moment:
It was warm out, but gray.
BK had his first night of his rads externship
(why does medicine have such lame words?)
What does externship even mean....
anyways he would not be home till after 10.

It was 5...crazy hour.....
we needed something....
all of us.

Dance party
We turned up the music,
we danced.
We did kart wheels
Rhett was jiving with us in the activity center.

The music?
Something Beautiful
Just love needtobreathe.

The boys were laughing, smiling
pure joy,
which can be so rare....
some days.

It was an amazing moment.

It was everywhere

I was out of commission close to a week.

It all began 5 minutes before we left for the airport to pick up my mom.

There was throw up on the kitchen floor.

Then explosive diarrhea in the car.

Then more throw up at home.

Then my turn to get it.

Quint and I were losing it out both ends.

We couldn't even keep down water.

I was so out of commission I couldn't get out of bed.

I needed to drink, Rhett was getting hungry

Rhett had is first formula.

My mom and BK were rock stars.

I could not get out of bed.

It was crazy.

I hope it is not repeated for a very long time in our home....or ever!

My moment: I have never wanted so badly to be able to do my laundry! It is amazing how quickly we take health for granted.

Bald Eagle

This morning Quint woke up talking about the little train.

I knew he meant the little "kid" train in our local park which runs in the summer.

We looked at it on the internet but I explained it is not open yet.

I guess because we don't currently have any snow,

he thought it should be open.

On our way home this morning he asked to drive by it.

It is a small detour so I agreed.

We drove into the park,

it was slightly flooded from snow melt,

deserted

and all the rides were closed up.

I showed Quint and Russell.

Hard to believe in a few months it will be full of people in shorts.

As we drove out I saw a bird on the frozen pond

It was a bald eagle.

I wish I had my camera

The boys and I sat and looked at it.

They are majestic

A special treat to Iowa I suppose.

I am far from a nature person, but it was kinda cool.

It reminded me of my Grandma and her bird book

She does like nature...and birds:)

At least I have you Russell...

Quint as working on some major construction,

moving couch cushions

with Russell in tow (of course)

I over heard Quint say:

"This is some hard construction....

at least I have you Russell"

A few moments later....

Russell was distracted by a book

Quint was still working "hard"

He noticed Russell reading....

Quint said:

"Russell what are you doing....

we need help from you"

Quint kept on with his project.

Russell soon got back to "work"

I love, love, love, how different they are....

but I am so grateful for,

how well they go together:)

to all the pretenders

to all the women

who work so hard to paint the mirage...

to make the picture

look

perfect.

It took me a while...

but

I am on to you...

my veil has been lifted,

and I am sure it scares you.

because

I know your dirty little secret

what you have worked tirelessly to protect.

when the doors are closed,

and the van windows are up,

you occasionally lose it with you children,

your house is dirty,

you are not always infatuated with your husband.

you are not always perky...

you feed your children fast food (gasp)

Maybe it is just me,

but I have no desire to fake it.

If you want to be real,

share the down and dirty,

the great and the ugly of life,

I would love to be friends:)

But, if not....

know that I am on to you....

and it is not worth it.

Boats

Why are boats considered girls?

For example:

There she is.....

(referring to the boat)

or

Isn't she a beauty?

(boat again)

I like boats,

I think they are usually pretty

I guess they should be girls:)

Today I was just wondering why....

OLDER

Quint's sickness response reminded me of this exchange I had with a nurse last week.

I agree with him

it frustrates me when

"my body is not working"

I still do not feel "myself" since Rhett was born,

emotionally, physically, all around I just don't feel good.

I know it usually takes me close to a year to feel "myself" again,

but I was kinda hoping it would be faster this time.

Recently I called my Doctor,

the nurse told me

"it takes longer for your body to bounce back the more babies you have,

and the older you are"

OLDER.

Seriously.

Well, that did not make me feel better.

If you are a nurse,

please remember,

telling a woman she is not feeling well because she is

"older"

is not a good response...

Even if it is true:)

It is not working....

Quint has come down with a bad cold, possibly a sinus infection.

His voice is raspy, and his nose is goopy.

I wanted to see if it is green, so I asked him.....

"can I look at your nose?"

He came right over and said...

"it is not working"

(in his super cute congested voice)

It was adorable.

It occurred to me,

maybe he shares my frustration when things do not work on my body.

Seriously, if I have an ache I get crabby.

Russell and Rhett share the snottiness,

so

today will be a sick day.

Hang in PJ's

watch special shows....

and get healthy.

Such a bummer because Q will miss his Valentines Party at preschool.

Oh well:)

Somedays I just need....

a nap.

I love naps.
My mom always said you can either nap or you can't.
I can.
I love a good mid day snooze,
I wake up refreshed, feeling ready to take on the rest of the day.

Despite my need/love of naps
these days they have been very sparse.

Today BK took the boys out for a bit,
I cleaned for a while, but as soon as Rhett fell asleep,
I crawled in my bed
with the sun shining in through my shade I drifted to sleep.
Ahhh.
Total bliss.

When I woke,
I felt more refreshed than I had in a long time.
It was awesome.

Thanks to my awesome hubby.
(a non-napper)

Bummer for him.

22 Days

It has been 22 Days since BK has had a day off.

I am not complaining it is just a fact.

I actually was not counting, he told me today as he walked through the door.....

Early

He was home really Early.

It was AWESOME.

We needed some of him around here.

I was kinda amazed I didn't realize it was 22 days.

I guess I was just pushing, getting through, trying to be the best I could for BK, for the boys, for US.

I would be lying if I said I was not feeling run i little ragged.

I have had a few tough days,

but we made it.

We appreciate him working so hard for us,

but

I am so jazzed to have him home,

and the boys are ecstatic:)

And only 37 days till spring.

That # I am counting:)

Connected

Today I was driving and grabbed my cell phone to make a call.

For some reason, it took a moment to connect.

It made me think....

how do they work anyways.

It really is amazing.

little machines connecting us to people we love through outer space....

I don't get it,

but I am really glad someone else does:)

Today I really grateful for cell phones....

and a lot of minutes.

To change your day...

Do you ever feel God just sent a person to change your day?

BACKSTORY

I have been feeling a bit down

maybe it is winter

but i have struggled to see the joy in the routine

My Moment:

Today we desperately needed food.

The snow and cold have been deterring us

but today we had to go.

The plan was go to Aldi's

it is not our favorite shopping experience,

but it is super cheap

so we go.

The boys and I were trekking through Aldi's

and an older woman asked

"are they all yours?" (referring to the boys)

Yes, I responded, unsure what she might say next...

She paused, made eyes at Rhett and said

"you are triple blessed"

I paused and took it in,

Rhett in his car seat taking up nearly the whole cart,

Russell and Quint dragging our cloth Aldi's bags

(probably creating a hole)

and us taking up the entire aisle

(which is not good for Aldi's because you can't go around)

Immediately I realized,

I am focused on the chaos,

and I should be focused on my blessings.

We are triple blessed.

My attitude changed immediately, I was enjoying Aldi's

I could see the beauty in the chaos.

But it didn't last long...

A few minutes later we were checking out,

I was trying to pay, transfer carts (Aldis special requirement), and wrangle the older boys

when I noticed a cute older woman in a wheelchair watching me.

I didn't think much of it at first,

I basically feel like a sideshow whenever I am in public with all the boys

so staring is not rare.

I was feeling a little crazy as we began to pull away

she spoke up to the boys

"your mom is very together and organized"

I paused again

Immediately I thought:

"You obviously have not met me...

I am a hot mess"

but I decided to spare her the details and just said to her:

"I am just faking it"

She responded with continued encouragement

"well you fake it very well"

I paused again,

Was she crazy or did I actually look like I had it together?

we had made it through Aldis without a meltdown or breaking anything

I guess I had been very successful so far

again, I saw the joy in the chaos.

I thanked her, and

With a bit more spring in my step

I heaved my cart, loaded down with groceries, an baby seat, and two boys hanging off the sides.

As the automatic doors opened the cold attacked my face and hands

but I fought off my inclination to be angry at the weather

I said to the boys

"hang on we are going fast to the car like lightning McQueen"

After loading the car full of boys and groceries

and returning my cart to get my quarter

(another Aldi's special)

I could hardly feel my fingers...

but I felt warm inside.

My trip to Aldi's had changed my day

Not one, but two people sharing just a few words,

but words I needed to hear today

Some may say coincidence

I say providence.